One Example

Hello. My name is Hailey and I like to party, but I rarely make it to the party.  I panic about the drive, because there is a 99% chance that I'm going to have an anxiety attack as I drive. I start to panic just thinking about it and then I start to worry about what it could be like if I make it to the destination. (I have been known to panic on the way and claim some type of emergency. Plus there is that pesky possibility of a wreck.) What if I can't think of anything to say?  What if I make a fool of myself? What if everyone hates me?! Oh god they already hate me! They felt obligated to invite me and they'll resent me for showing up!  Why does everyone hate me?? Oh that's right! I'm simply a hateful person. I hate me too. Why won't I shut up and leave people alone?! Now I'm fighting the urge to self-harm, wishing for an off switch, and crying in my room while my kids beg me to come out.
Anxiety and depression suck. They hurt. They don't make sense. I want them to go away now, but they've buried themselves deep into who I am. They are a vicious cycle, but I'm among the lucky ones. I've developed some pretty handy coping techniques. When I convince myself to drive on the interstate I talk to my kids or myself. I plan every tiny detail of the drive. Still, I'm not infallible and sometimes the fear and sadness is too much to handle alone. That's why I'm going to call the doctor... hopefully today. I've been putting it off for a long time. I'm scared, but I'm looking for hope. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Blanket Statements Don't Work

"Being a stay-at-home-parent is the HARDEST job in the world." "Being a parent is the most rewarding thing you will ever do." "Your marriage will end in divorce." Um not necessarily. I'll use 2 couples that I know as examples. Lets change the names... We'll go with Marissa and Jake, and Josie and Daniel.

Marissa was practically "born to be a mother" as they say. She's always been a nurturer. She is a stay-at-home-mom with 4 kids and 2 dogs. That is what fulfills her and makes her satisfied. She's open about the fact that it's what she wants and loves. It has really hard days like anything else, but overall, she wouldn't change it for anything. She gets to be there for their first word, step, and in depth idea of how the world works. She gets to share their triumphs and sorrows without having to wait until the end of her shift. Jake actually envies her a bit, but he loves what he does for a career. He takes a great deal of pride in the things he's able to provide for his family.

Josie is a very loving mother. She is a career driven woman with 4 kids. She tried being a stay-at-home parent, but she felt unfulfilled and smothered. She was miserable. It turned out her husband felt the same way at his job, so they switched. Daniel enjoyed hanging out with their kids and being the one to tend to their needs. Josie and Daniel are so much happier with her working and him home. It's true to them.

Obviously there are more options than these two, but it goes to show how DIVERSE we all are. My husband and I have worked at the same time, worked opposite shifts, and have taken turns being a stay-at-home parent. We do what fits best for our family at any given time. 10 people can listen to the same story and each learn something different. It's called individuality and we should stop trying to bury it or stamp it out.

Facebook Makes Me Hate

I'm so serious! After the last 24hrs I am hating humanity, religion, politics, and I may even start hating books. IT HAS BECOME THAT BAD! I've decided to take action. I'm not certain what that action is, but I'm gonna take it!
I thought about starting a new and improved Facebook profile. Alas that seems... I dunno... just inconvenient. Of course, my other idea was to go through my "friends" and start hiding their posts. It will be a long and tedious process, but it saves me from hysterical relatives and having to refriend people that I don't socialize with. That would be pretty much everyone. Problem is I will have to block some people I like.
I just can't deal with much more. I'm sick of political and religious rants. I know that I should know what's going on in the world, but I don't like the world. I'm sick of the hate and the whining and the ignorant rants.
YES I'M DISCRIMINATING AGAINST STATES WITH LAWS LIKE THAT BULLSHIT IN INDIANA! THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT I'M DISCRIMINATING AGAINST HATE AND BIGOTRY WHILE YOU DISCRIMINATE AGAINST LOVE AND MARRIAGE!
I need a good dose of oblivion. Hating makes me tired.